As a child, we crawl before we walk. As adults, before we lead, we must follow by example. It’s the same when it comes to love. We witness many relationships in the honeymoon phase then at a blink of an eye things get ugly.
Most times it’ll be one of the lovers cheating on the other, leading to the loss of trust and ultimately leading to misunderstanding. We all know with those factors in the way, love cannot be nurtured, eventually leaving nothing but an ugly situation at the end. But it all stems from somewhere.
We lead by example, our characters are just a mirror reflection of our experiences. First and foremost, we naturally learn how to nurture and love through our parents or family.
For some of us it’s a scary thought because we all carry our own emotional baggage with family, no one is perfect. However, before we love someone else or can allow ourselves to be loved by someone we have to be completely open with ourselves.
There’s no way we can love another, if we don’t love or understand ourselves, just like there’s no way we can understand what true love and sacrifice is if we haven’t had someone to nourish us in the right way as a child. Now, this is not something for us to use as an excuse but to use as a spark of thought for ourselves.
For example, a woman’s relationship with their father affects how they love and interpret love from a man. Rihanna’s “Next Chapter” interview with Oprah Winfrey touched a little on this subject. Of course Oprah touched on the Rihanna and Chris Brown issue.
Oprah wanted to know how Rihanna dealt with the issue and how she was able to overcome the ordeal. Rihanna’s response was that she had to look deep inside herself to understand what went wrong in that situation. She couldn’t understand why she couldn’t completely trust the man she loved. She was lost.
Later she realized her damaged relationship with her father played a part in her damaged relationship with Chris Brown. She had a great father/ daughter relationship, but her father was very abusive to her mother and that killed Rihanna’s perception of her father later damaging her father/daughter relationship. This also damaged her trust in men in general.
We lead by example, so how can we truly love someone if we carry emotional baggage from the past? How can we truly love someone if we were never really taught how to genuinely love? We all know love to be a natural feeling and most of us think that when it comes, that’s all that matter, then later we wonder what went wrong.
However, I’m a strong believer in before we are able to genuinely love another, we have to look deeply within ourselves first.
Spitters, have you ever been in a relationship where everything felt so right then at a blink of an eye everything turned upside down, and you were left wondering, “what went wrong? How did you deal?