The friend zone. No one really wants to be there when they’re really attracted to someone they wish to be with. Men are really not the better gender when it comes to dealing with this and should you disagree, you are more than welcome to dispute this by commenting below. I came across this question one day on Twitter which really led me to thinking. Someone asked, “Guys, a female you seriously wanted curved you, later realized you’re a good catch and tries to get at you, how do you personally handle it?” Now I know I’m not a man but I can tell you that I’ve had this conversation one too many times with my male friends and majority of men will tell you this. It all comes down to two words I’d like to call “revenge curve.” Revenge curve is majority of men’s answer to the friend zone.
Ladies, you have to understand that as much as it may be hard to believe, men are very emotional beings. They’re not the type to show you those emotions for fear of looking “weak” or not being “man enough” but their emotions are there. One of those emotions they act upon very well is the pain and the disappointment of being rejected by their female friend whom they were once interested in. For some reason or another we females tend to overlook a lot of our male friends of becoming potential boyfriends or mates. Example of that can be seen here Nice Guys Finish Last . Later on down the line, something will click in our minds that our guy friend, whom we’ve put in the friend zone, is probably the one who we should really be with.
This realization will probably happen after being heartbroken several times by jerks who we ended up crying to our guy who’s in the friend zone. But here’s the twist: because you feel that you two have been friends for a while, he’d be still game to be with you. After all, in the back of your mind you feel as if he’s always going to be there for you because that’s your friend right? WRONG. Remember no one wants front row seats to seeing someone they were/are interested in move on to someone else. So once you start the “where have you been all my life” feeling, you want to bring him out of the friend zone and trust that he is going to play along until he gets the chance to play you for playing him.
Why is that? Because you really thought he forgot when you told him about him 1, him 2, and him 3? As he sat there and listened to you whine and complain about all those men while in the back of his mind, he was thinking he’s the one you should be with and didn’t understand why you couldn’t see that as well. But since you put him in the friend zone, he figures his chances with you are slim to none so he moves on. The day you come back to him wanting to be more than friends is the day you’re essentially putting the nail in the coffin of your friendship. As I stated earlier, he will play the role to the T once you finally put your new found feelings about him on the table but at some point or another, he’s going to hit you with a variation of this line. “Hey it’s great that you think we should be more than friends but I like the way things are now and I really don’t want to mess up our friendship.” Basically more or less along those lines depending on the maturity level of the man you are dealing with.
Whether you two had relations or not before he told you this, the déjà vu ironic pain you will feel will have the heat of 10,000 suns. We as females do not take too kind to rejection either and hearing that will send you on one of the worst emotional roller coasters you will ever be on. You do not want to subject yourself to that humiliation and pain so it’s just best to leave things be. Bottom line is this : once you put a person that is interested in you in the friend zone, most of the time, you’re better off leaving them there. Either that or find someone new to move on with because you think hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, try a man who’s been burned and is looking for revenge.