“I like chicks with severe emotional issues, and so what? It turns me on. Can you blame me? I’m used to the snapping of fingers and chicks with attitudes. Stereotypes of a black chick. I’m missin that.” Although one of my friends said that jokingly, it has always been said that there is some truth in every joke so this “joke” got me thinking. There was an article written a while back about how nice guys finish last CLICK HERE and from then to now, I’ve come to observe that the same statement holds the same for females as well. As I continue to grow up, there is this one question that is always in the back of my mind: why do some men like or respond better to the females that yell and scream at them but yet take advantage of those who are understanding of them? It seems as if a female responds or reacts to some men in a calm manner they do not like or appreciate that woman. It’s the woman that does her best to avoid arguments, is sympathetic, generous, goes out of her way for others, etc that seem to get taken of advantage nowadays.Why is that?

There were only two answers that were able to come from that question. (If you feel that there are other reasons please feel free to share them below.) It came down to either that man really respected that female or feared her. Allow me to elaborate. There have been times when I’ve witnessed grown men get yelled at/cursed out, insulted etc but will turn right around and go back to the female that yelled at them. For them being constantly put down is a turn on for them. I will never come to comprehend that kind of thinking. Some men have even gone on to say that they would rather prefer a female that does that because it shows that she’s “tough” and as a man, he would go out of their way to find and want to be with these domineering women. To them they see that woman as strong and will not take any nonsense from anyone especially when that man himself misbehaves. Bottom line, that man and men in general want someone who is close to or like their mother. Some will not admit to it but subconsciously that is what they are ultimately seeking for in a partner. Growing up, most mothers did not tolerate their nonsense when they misbehaved so they do not expect the same from their woman. As odd as it seems, they grow to honor and respect that woman the more “tougher” she is.

Then there is also the scenario of that man having lack of self esteem. This is where the fear factor comes into play.That can also have him on the opposite end of the spectrum where he is willing to tolerate the woman’s behavior because there has been tremendous amount of fear instilled in him. After all, it’s not only women that go through abuse ; some men suffer the same situation in their everyday lives. Similarly to how some abusive women respond by not leaving, the same can go for a man. That man may not want to leave that woman due to fear of the consequences of what’s going to happen next. Maybe that man has found something in that woman he thinks he may not find in another one again. Or maybe they have gotten comfortable with the history they have built so far so walking away from it all is hard. So he settles which is something no one should find themselves doing especially when they know they can always do better and deserves better.

Then there are the ones who have been raised to appreciate the value of an understanding woman. Some men appreciate the nice females because with them, comes peace. They don’t worry so much about that woman because they know that no matter what, they can always work through something without the constant yelling/lashing out from her. Some men say that they can not see themselves with a woman that is always belittling them in some way, shape or form because there will never be peace in the house. They can not take that stress upon themselves and will be in fact be running away from that woman. They do not want to deal with the headaches, nagging, and being the blunt of all that woman’s frustrations. It drives them away.

Basically it all comes down to knowing who you are as a person. Ladies, if you know you’re the type of woman that wants things down her way and will not back down to what anyone says, please do yourself a favor by finding your equal. There is nothing wrong with two headstrong people being together but in both of you being headstrong, can one of you see outside the box? Be willing to see outside the attitudinal behavior that comes from either one of you? Ultimately be able to compromise at some point so you do not drive the other person away. If so then that’s great. Please do not be that person that ends up scarring another individual by taking their kindness for weakness. If you know who you are as a person, then you will not find it necessary to tamper with someone’s nature. You may just be damaging them for the next person. To the nice women that are out there reading this, please do not change or become bitter because of someone. Stay true to who you are. The right person will come along at the appropriate time and appreciate you and all of what you have to offer. There are over 6 billion people in the world. Don’t waste your energy changing who you are because of one.