Its really horrible when you come to the conclusion that you’ve been cheated on. After investing your time, money, and emotions into this person the best way they can say thank you is by going out and lying down with another individual. Like we say in Ghana, oh chale! So now what? Well, there are two things that will come out of that situation and its either you will get bitter or better. Personally the choice is up to you, but this is for those who choose the latter and want to get better. This one’s for you.
You have to stop blaming yourself for what happened. Personally, I’d be happy that it happened because it just goes to show you what type of individual you were with. Now there are people out there that are probably going to say, “I blame myself”. Some people out there will start to over analyze or rationalize that it was their fault their partner cheated. Then the I should’ve, could’ve, would’ve statements starts rolling in, “maybe if I spent enough time with him”, or “maybe I should’ve gave in when she asked me to do this”. The fact of the matter is; its pointless to rack your brain and stress yourself out over something you had no control over. I know plenty of people who gave their partner the world and they still got cheated on. Better yet, you remember Halle Berry? One of the most beautiful woman in the world? Yes, she got cheated on numerous times and she constitutes as one of the most fantasized females on this earth. Do you remember why she was cheated on? It was due to her spouse’s sex addiction that led to his infidelity so in all essence, it wasn’t her fault. Just as how she couldnt stop her partner from cheating, neither can you so stop blaming yourself. It’s easier said than done but either way it was meant to happen.
You also have to realize that this was a lesson to be learned as a stepping stone for your future husband or wife. When you’re in a relationship, you imagine that person being your future spouse. So it’s very hard when that individual goes out and cheats on you, interrupting your whole life process with them. Well, what lesson is to be learned from all of this you ask? It’s simple. Now you know that the person wasn’t right for you or meant for you. A person who truly loves their partner won’t cheat on them. Some may argue, “Oh it was a mistake.” No. A mistake is when you forget to turn off your headlights when you leave your car or marking down the wrong answer on an exam. That is a mistake. Lying down or doing something with another person outside your relationship is not a mistake. Some part of you was aware of what was going to happen and you would’ve had your chance to stop it but you gave into it. You weren’t thinking of your partner at that time but you only thought about how to satisfy your own selfish needs and someone who truly cares and loves you will not subject themselves into that “mistake.” So your lesson needs to be, “Oh I guess he/she wasn’t the person I thought they were for me or right for me at all.” Your solution: onto the next one.
Finally, you have to understand that you will be alright. Like I said previously, onto the next one. But before jumping into another relationship, please make peace with your past and allow yourself to heal. The most important thing to do is forgive. Holding onto all of that anger will create bitterness and anger towards the next person who comes along and that’s not fair to that person. You have to realize that not all men/women cheat so you can’t blame the next for what the ex did to you. Believe it or not there are some real good women and men still out there in the world but because you’re too busy cursing all men/women, you probably missed them. You have to really take this time to come to know yourself more. Meditate more. Figure out next time what’s important to you in the next relationship. As you improve yourself, your quality of relationships will improve also. You will know what to tolerate and not to tolerate.
Overall cheating is truly something I wish we all could avoid in our relationships but unfortunately its one of those lessons we all have to learn at some point in our lives. Some deal with it in a good way while others go in a whole other direction and become players or pimps and feel that they need to punish the remaining population of the opposite sex in order to compensate what someone has done to them. It’s such a shame because ultimately you’re truly hurting yourself in the end. So you have to learn to let go. Let it all go. Pray it out. Talk it out. Scream it out. Yell it out. Do whatever it takes to let out all of the pain so you can move on with your life. Or else you’ll be stuck in your man bashing or women hating mode for a while and what good really comes out of that?