Friends with benefits is a cowardly way of fulfilling one’s physical desires without having to commit to anything. The whole idea is ridiculous and to me it’s a cop out for people who are greedy. Yes, it’s understandable that human beings have “needs” but I feel that if people would channel that sexual energy and desires into something more productive, a lot can and will be accomplished within society. It’s a selfish desire and I for one am still trying to figure out the benefits of it. In a world filled with messages everywhere encouraging sexual behavior in all aspects of life it comes as no surprise that friends with benefits would be a popular concept amongst today’s generation and that’s incredibly sad. People should learn to focus on satisfying the mental, spiritual and financial needs of themselves before satisfying their physical needs. How does it even benefit anyone when as mentioned in the previous article that 9 times out of 10, someone will catch feelings, most likely it being the female? The reason being as stated already there’s a bonding hormone called Oxytocin that is released during an orgasm. Ladies correct me if I’m wrong but one of the worst things in the world is having feelings for someone who won’t reciprocate those feelings back? Why would you want to create a bond with someone knowing that it’s not going to lead anywhere? That can go for males as well however I think females take a tad bit harder.
If a female is not mature enough to commit to having friends with benefits, it might and lead into unnecessary drama. It can spawn off rumors and name calling and having an individual labeled as x, y, z, etc….For example: “Hey so and so is REALLY great in bed and can really…..” and then your name gets out. It may be not be a problem right then but imagine the future consequence of tarnishing your reputation and creating that negative image for your future spouse. Ladies, you could’ve had a wonderful man that was ready to move Heaven and Earth for you but maybe one of his cousin’s best friend’s brother had you as a FWB and told all of your “talents” in a conversation one day amongst his friends. What kind of respect can they have for you as a woman? Gentlemen, please don’t think I’ve forgotten about you because the same applies to you as well. How would you feel if the script was flipped and the same thing happened to you? You may have just lost out on the woman of your dreams.
Also if both parties aren’t fully mature about the entire situation, there shouldn’t be any agreement to it. Nowadays a lot of people are not mentally prepared for the consequences of FWB. They think they are up until something happens like the female gets pregnant or if someone catches feelings or worse, an STD. That person may be your friend however you do not know their whole entire sexual history/past. Sex isn’t something that should be taken lightly and it’s unfortunate that nowadays it’s become the “norm.” There’s a lot that goes into it spiritually and emotionally that many seem to disregard and it’s truly amazing how they can do so. Honestly if one had high regards for their body and what they’re doing to it, they would think and think again before engaging in such activities.
One last thing is that if both parties are starting off as friends and want to take it a bit further, just commit yourself in a relationship or take it to the next level and get married. The simple fact that you two are friends means that there’s a mutual likeness that’s already been established between both parties. There are underlying emotions that are already there so by lying down with the person, you’re just enhancing, developing and building that likeness into something else. Sometimes creating the fantasy for one person to believe that something more will come out of it. As I said earlier, one will get emotionally attached. Either just stay friends or leave it be or if you can’t control yourself take lots and lots of cold showers. If you feel you can’t take enough cold showers to last you until whenever you better get down on your knees and pray heavily for God to help control those urges.
As friends that mutual respect should be there where you’re not lusting after that person and if you are, act upon those feelings though a relationship or keep an ice pack handy with you wherever you go.