This is to piggyback off a recent article about Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last Part 1. These are my viewpoints on some of the reasons and if I said I was going to explain ALL the reasons, I will never finish.
So I’ve provided a few reasons as to why this may be. They say women are complicated creatures and it’s true. I’m the first to claim and admit that because I know I’m a lot to handle at times. But never for the life of me will I understand why certain women like “bad boys.” Really it’s not even the man’s fault.
Majority of the time, it’s the woman’s personal problem to deal with. All it is really is insecurity and or low self esteem. Any woman that truly values herself and knows what she’s worth will not subject for any man to talk to her anyhow and also for a woman who knows who she is will not tolerate any type of nonsense or stupidity.
For if you allow it once to happen, you’re planting the seed in the man’s head that it’s alright for him to talk/treat you the same next time. Bad boys are especially not the exception to this. You will not believe the amount of times women complain about how this man said this or how they did this. If I had a dollar for every time I heard a complaint, I would be so rich it wouldn’t even be funny. But I shouldn’t be the one to judge or put those women down because at a point in my life, I used to do the same.
However, it goes back to my statement earlier: low self esteem/insecurity which brings me to this thought provoking question. How many of you ever met a man before who didn’t really have the type of reputation or behavior that you could bring home to your parents? Then fast forward a couple of years later you run into that guy only for him to tell you he’s in a serious relationship, engaged or married and probably with kids..etc? I’m sure it’s happened plenty of times.
Now as the woman, you asked yourself, “What changed?” Usually the question will be answered by him pulling out a picture or bring up “The One.” At that very moment, there’s a feeling within that woman that usually goes, “Wow I wish it were me.” So because it’s not her, the next “bad boy” she runs into, she will either subconsciously or unsubconsiously make it her mission to be that “one.” Basically seek to change that man so there’s that sense of accomplishment of “Yea, I did that.”
Why any woman wants to take that task onto themselves is something I’m still baffled about. I think we have enough troubles to deal with in our daily lives without adding additional drama.
Deep down, women truly want and deserve a gentleman in our lives however there’s this unexplainable attractiveness about a bad boy. I sometimes see what some women are talking about. Am I contradicting myself a bit on that statement? Yes and I know this. Reason being is that even now there are times when I will slip and allow myself to have a guy say something stupid without correcting him but I’ll explain myself further on why that is. But sometimes when a guy “gets out of place” it triggers something in us that lets us go “Hmmm, he can handle himself.” Kind of like stand up for himself. Bottom line, know how to keep me in check because there are times when we women get besides ourselves and push buttons we’re not supposed to.
There’s a bit of attraction there. However there’s a skill and a learning curve to it and most guys don’t know how to handle that. Like the immature woman that they’re dealing with most of the time men will say stupid things and unfortunately there are some women who are attracted to that nonsense.
Me personally, be a gentleman however know how and when to keep me in check because my mouth (and a lot of other women’s) get us in trouble. But please don’t act nice, be a gentleman in the beginning and then later on, there’s this other side of you. I think that’s where most of the time a lot of women fall victim; when the guy’s gotten them to bring down her defense by being a gentleman but really was really a jerk from the beginning. I believe that if a man shows you show ANY sign of rudeness that triggers a negative emotion out of you especially in your beginning states, they should quickly be put on the backburner or his position in your life should be reconsidered. It is said after all that when a person shows you who they truly are, believe them. You justifying their actions is only going to bring more pain for you in the end that’s going to leave you wondering, “But he was such a nice guy.” Yes nice to get what he wanted from you and once that’s accomplished, what’s the sense in continuing being nice? So really it’s all up to the individual woman.
Know how to play the game and yes it’s sad to say that it’s still a game no matter which angle you want to look at it. Only difference is that for the nice guy, it’s a game to show her who you are to hopefully and ultimately win her heart so like I said earlier, nice over bad any day.
Nice guys may finish last but remember the tortoise and the hare? Who ultimately wins here?